Where she belongs

Since I'm feeling particularly prickly today, I figured it was time to visit my favorite culinary waste-of-space: Rachel Ray.

One Sunday afternoon, I was watching the royal TV when this came on:



I screamed from the horror, and my husband came to make sure that I still had my limbs. When he realized the cause of my outcry, he shook his head, laughed, and walked out in a way that at once said "why did I marry this woman" and "OMG she called her dog food Nutrish?" Yes Honey, she named her Dog food Nutrish. Let that roll around in your head for a sec there. In the same way that she has ruined Olive Oil ("E.V.O.O!"), she has now Rachel Ray-afied "nutrition." Sigh.
That being said, the fact that she is donating money from the dog food to animal charities is very commendable and a lovely gesture -- I can't deny that. But deep down, I kind of get the feeling that she's trying to wiggle out of her contract with the devil by being charitable, and wouldn't anyone?

If the commercial weren't enough, I am now being attacked by RR at the grocery store... I'd like submit, people's evidence #2 into public record:












Oh you're not hallucinating. That IS Rachel Ray brand Chicken and Beef broth. Why? Why does Rachel Ray think her broth is so amazing that she must share it with the world? What could possibly be so special about it that I would ever ever ever purchase such tom foolery? There had better be Unicorn extract in that mess, or else its staying on that bottom shelf, on sale because no one, not even Donald Trump would buy that stuff full price. By the way, speaking of "celebrity" broth on the bottom shelf, make sure you check out Wolfgang Puck's broth on shelf BELOW RR. What did Wolfgang ever do to deserve to be shelved below Rachel Ray? Ok, so he's weird, I admit that, but he's culinary icon! I have to sigh again. Sigh.