Rachel Ray is a NTWOAT (no talent waste of air time)

I really hate Rachel Ray.

I'm not sure if it’s the hair, or her weird low voice. I'm not sure if it’s the Dunkin’ Donuts commercials. I'm not sure if it’s the Weather-woman-like reactions to everything -- don't you just half expect her to say "now back to you Ron..."

So it's all that and more. I find her particular brand of dumbed-down food to be the worst kind of 1950's American junk, oooo a twist on a Tuna Casserole! It's the "E.V.O.O." of it all (her "cute" little abbreviation for Extra Virgin Olive Oil). Only, and I mean ONLY could RR (not so cute when tables are turned huh!), make something as classic and lovely as Olive Oil into something that sounds like a McDonald's Marketing Team thought it up. Ok so I'm a snob. I can admit it, and SO WHAT? What's wrong with wanting a cooking show to open up people's ideas and conceptions of food, and make them try something new? Where the hell is Julia Child, or the Galloping Gourmet, or even the Two Fat Ladies when you need them? (Mostly dead I know, a moment of silence please).

Why, I mean really really why did she deserve her own talk show??? Excuse me... a talk show? What planet is this? How many different kinds of Buffalo Wings and Baked Potatos can she make and why do I want to hear her talk about it afterwards in her weird low-voiced-Weather-Woman way?

Anthony Bourdain would back me up on this. He has his own hit list (mostly the pretty boys of the cooking world, top of his list, The Brit, Jamie Oliver. I suspect though his disdain comes from their immense popularity, frat-boy appeal, and just being younger, blonder, and less haggard than he.) Obviously I'm in the minority here, because every time I turn on the TV I see RR selling me dumbed-down American Coffee and Donuts.

Do me a favor and watch the Barefoot Contessa instead. She is just as charming and real, and makes amazing easy-to-make food for her husband, and friends, and her architect, and landscape designer, and vet, and anyone else that walks into her life. Trust me on this, YCTML (you can thank me later).