Sandwiches

There is a science to sandwiches that most people don't appreciate. It's a science that when executed correctly produces “mmm's” and when executed incorrectly creates a mess in bad way -- like slimy tomatoes on your lap bad.

First off, how do you define a sandwich? To me, it’s stuff sitting in or on bread -- simple right? Most people have heard the Earl of Sandwich story: a wealthy Earl was playing cards, and instructed the kitchen to put his afternoon cheeses and meats in between the bread thus creating the "Sandwich." Of course, all he did was slap his name on something that he didn’t invent.

The truth is, that no one can actually pin down this history of this marvel of the culinary world. In Medieval Europe, stale bread was covered with thick stews of various meats, thus making the bread edible, also creating the open-faced Sandwich. In the Middle East, Egypt, and Greece, God only knows how long people had been stuffing Pita Bread with goodies. The south East Asian countries started creating their own breed of Sandwiches during Colonization; the Cuban's and South American's grill and press their sandwiches like Panini’s. Speaking of Panini’s: enough already! Like the very funny Kevin James once said: “how big are muffins gonna get before we all join hands across America?" I'm just saying, the Panini is a fabulous invention -- good bread, good meat, good cheese all grilled and pressed together, simple and fabulous. However, what happens when we smoosh tuna salad between two large, heavy, and hot pieces of metal? Right, it gets GROSS! Who likes melted mayo dribbling down their chin -- makes me kinda gag just thinking about it.

Just recently Time Magazine ran this article about the Hamburger (good article by the way, give it a read). The basic meat between bread has evolved to a place that no one would have guessed -- truffles, butters, exotic fruits, exorbitant prices, etc etc etc. Famous chef's have created Burger Bars, and devoted way too much time to something that didn’t need a makeover! If you're looking to reinvent the wheel, why not reinvent open-faced Sandwiches? This isn’t Medieval Europe, the bread isn't going stale.

The latest trend, the "wrap" I find totally disastrous (and suspect that Rachel Ray had her pesky little hand in this too). I hate them. Who you foolin' with your whole wheat tomato wrap? Either have a salad or a Burrito, but don't come to me with your pseudo-lunch and call it a sandwich. It's not. You know it's not. Walk toward the light, we have real food over here.

For all of the conveniences and joys of Sandwiches, there are a few that I love to hate:

1. The Falafel Sandwich
There is no possible way not to make a mess while eating one. I don’t care who you are. Unless you put that sucker on a plate and eat with a knife and fork, it’s going on your lap or on the concrete below. However, thin pita bread, with crispy falafel, and smoky Tahini Sauce is irresistible.

2. The Hot Dog.
It's way too suggestive (you know it is), makes your breath stink something awful, and quit frankly kinda tacky in a Trailer Park sort of way (of course all of these issues disappear at BBQ's and Sports Games). Is that gonna stop you from going to Gray's Papaya on West 72nd Street and inhaling two with onions and sauerkraut??? HELL NO!

3. The Philly Cheese Steak.
In theory of this thing is so gross. Paper thin tasteless steak, with greasy onions and God help us, CANNED cheese “product”. Talk about messy. But there is also something incredibly and gloriously yummy about it too. Don't wear white while eating one though.

4. The Tuna Melt.
Another sandwich that when you stop to think about, is revolting. Tuna with mayo, that gets hot thanks to the cheese needing to be melted under the broiler. Ewwww…. hot tuna with mayo? That being said, is there anything quite as satisfying a really good tuna melt? Not really.

For my part, I like some surprises in my sandwiches. I like mixing it up with different kinds of breads and textures. I deplore goopy anything, and never make a sandwich too big to get your mouth around -- that’s just rude. Here's a good one that I really like.

1 Whole Ciabatta Loaf
1/2 lb thinly sliced Smoked Chicken Breast
1/2 lb thinly sliced Colby Pepper Cheese (like Monterey Pepper Jack)
1 Ripe Avocado sliced very thin
2 Vine-Ripened Tomatoes sliced very thin
Dijon Mustard
Mayonnaise
Salt and pepper to taste

Cut the Ciabatta loaf in half lengthwise.
Spread half with a thin layer of mayo and another with a thin layer of mustard.
Spread half with the tomatoes and half with the avocado, salt and pepper both sides.
On one of the sides, layer on your meat.
Spread a very small amount of Mustard on the meat to act as a glue.
Add Cheese.
Put the other half of the loaf on the Sandwich.
The easiest way to cut this is by using skewers or toothpicks and then cut... just remember that they are in there.

*If you are a potato chip fan, put some in the middle of the Sandwich, the surprising crunch is deeply satisfying.


Remember, bread won't bite and wraps are for Rachel Ray. Also, there are lots of International Sandwiches and thanks to globalization you can find almost anything your heart desires stuck between bread. All I ask is that you leave the Burger alone, use some common sense when grilling and pressing, and make sure you have plenty of napkins because you never know when someone’s Falafel might land on your shoe.

When Grand Central Stood Still

Ok ok, it has NOTHING to do with food at all, but I though this was so genius and Duchess-worthy that I had to share:

The group is called Improv Everywhere and if you click here you'll get a full listing of all their projects... a favorite is "Cell Phone Symphony."

But this one takes the "cake"

Cookbooks

I love cookbooks. I have a relatively small but useful collection, and I'd like to think I have some of the best. Even if I don't use all the recipes, or stick to the ingredients, more often than not they inspire, and make me believe that I can in fact make my own rack of lamb with cherries, and maybe even my own chicken sausages.
Here are my faves, but please feel free to add your faves as well!

The Joy of Cooking
Hands down the most useful cookbook ever. More like a dictionary of food, where if you need that basic pie crust recipe, or Bouillabaisse, it’s in there. Need to know how to make roux? (a butter and flour base for sauces and savory pies), it’s in there. Now, there might be better recipes, or recipes that you prefer out there, but for the sheer AMOUNT of recipes, nothing beats it -- a must for any kitchen.

Larousse Gastronomique
Written in 1938, this book is a leading authority in classic techniques and recipes. One could say that it's French but in reality, the base of almost all modern gourmet food is French. If they didn't invent the techniques or the recipe, they certainly refined it and the French gave food its own lingo and slang, a language if you will. Although some of these recipes are dated, and some are ridiculously difficult, for the amount of knowledge this book contains, it’s worth it.

The Silver Spoon
If The Joy of Cooking is the "everything" bible, and the Larousse Gastronomique is the French bible, then The Silver Spoon is the Italian bible. Originally published in 1950, the authors traveled across the country collecting the best recipes from chefs, bakers, fish mongers, friends, family and little old grandmothers. In 2000 they did the tour again, updated the recipes and added new ones. A few years ago the first English version was published and I'm not exaggerating when I say it was sold out EVERYWHERE! You couldn't find it online, in bookstores or libraries.
For all its glory, there a few flaws though; the translation is clunky, the measurements can be off, and it asks for ingredients that we simply can’t get in the States and doesn’t make substitution suggestions. All that being said... it’s still amazing, and worth the 6.5 pounds (not kidding that sucker is big and heavy).

Martha Stewart Living Cookbook
I'm sure there are some Martha-haters out there... I understand. Personally, I love the bitch. She can do no wrong (in the kitchen that is). Her recipes always work, and are always good. I tend to use this almost like The Joy of Cooking but to steal Emeril's line, the recipes are "kicked up a notch." She takes a basic recipe just that much farther to create something a little shinier, slightly better than perfect -- and that’s just how she likes it.

Barefoot Contessa At Home: Everyday Recipes
As I've said before, I think Ina Garten (The Barefoot Contessa) is wonderful. Like Martha, her recipes are always successful, and always good. She's also a realist. She knows that you don't have your own heirloom tomato garden, or your own chicken coop in the back. So buy a normal tomato and a store bought egg. She has a lot of cookbooks, from fancier dinner party stuff, to soups and pastry. I couldn't imagine any of them being a bad buy, so go froth and be royal.

Donna Hay Modern Classics
I'm choosing to put this one on the list, but really all of her books are exquisite. If you don’t know who she is, you could call her the Australian Martha Stewart minus the pretension. She has a very specific style, and everything she publishes (even her magazine which you can find in Barnes & Noble and large periodical shops) is very uniquely hers. The recipes always use fresh fresh fresh ingredients, and are never fussy. Everything she makes is so mouth-watering and achievable. Besides all of that, the books and magazines are so beautiful, that it’s hard not to collect them just for beauty's sake. But don't treat them like museums pieces, use them!

The Last Course: Desserts of the Gramercy Tavern
Be warned, this book is not for the faint of heart, or the fearful of pastry. This is a stunning book written by the head pastry chef at The Gramercy Tavern, one of the best restaurants in NYC. She is a perfectionist (like so many pastry chefs), and slightly batty (or so says people who have worked with her!). However, there are some very good recipes and some inspiring ones as well. Her Madeleine recipe is excellent, and her chocolate tarts are divine.

Tate's Bake Shop Cookbook
Tate's is a bakery in Southampton that makes, perhaps, the world best chocolate chip cookie. You can find them in gourmet stores and even in some delis – go grab a bag. That aside, the cookbook is wonderful. It's full of wonderfully Grandma-like recipes that anyone can make. Of all lot of these kinds of down-home, from Grandma’s kitchen cookbooks, this is my favorite.

The Silver Palette Cookbook & Good Times Cookbook
The Silver Palette was a small hole in the wall store on the Upper West Side. Julee Rosso and Sheila Lukin owned, ran and cooked the food. Alas, it wasn't meant to be because the two friends had a falling out and the place closed. Lucky for us they made two cookbooks before the fights, and even have some sauces and goodies on the shelves of gourmet stores. The food is surprising, and delicious, and still totally accessible. Whenever I'm stuck as to what to make, a quick glance at one of the cookbooks inspires me.

The Olive and Caper
Part cookbook, part travel journal, this totally charming book has it all! I happen to love travel and armchair travel books, and this has the added bonus of really wonderful recipes. It's a fun book, and Greek food is not only a crowd pleaser, but super easy to make, and always healthy and fresh.
* I would be remiss not to mention the cookbooks of Aglaia Kremezi. Her books are visually stunning, and the recipes are always well researched and tested. She is one of, if not the authority on Greek cooking today (also happens to be a Greek, something of a rarity in the Greek Cookbook market). If you're a Greek Food fan, you should run and get one of her books.

Modern French Classics by Camille Le Foll
I've included this because the Larousse can be overwhelming. This lovely little book (with extraordinary photos) brings classic French cuisine into the 21st century and makes it easy to cook. Also, it’s such a pretty book, it makes a great gift.

Mesa Mexicana
If anyone remembers the baby years of the Food Channel, they remember the Two Hot Tamales. Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger are the owners and chefs at the Border Grill in LA, but became famous for they're FABULOUS show (I wish they would pick it up again or air the old shows), Two hot Tamales. Here's what’s great about them: Mexican food is wonderful and healthy, but if you've ever opened up a Mexican cookbook you'll notice how insanely difficult the recipes can be. You wouldn’t think it, but Mexican food has an immense amount of ingredients -- a classic Mole Sauce has on average about 20-25 ingredients! The Two Hot Tamales manage to keep the recipes both traditional and modern without making them junky or too difficult for the home chef.

Memories of a Lost Egypt: A Memoir with Recipes
Like the title suggests, recipes are seamlessly intertwined with memories of an Egypt that Collette Roussant, the author, romances us with. Fragrant and surprisingly simple to make food, as well as beautiful story telling, it’s a book everyone should at least take out of the library and read. Added bonus, being of Sephardic Jewish decent, Collette has recipes that are kosher for the Jewish Holidays and perhaps my favorite Challah recipe ever. My copy is falling apart at the seams and a mess, but isn't that the way you show love to a cookbook?

I realize there is no mention of Julia Child, and some other important chefs and books. This is not out of dislike, but simply because I don't own, or use those books that often. I will say that if you are seriously interested in Mexican cooking then you must buy a book by Rick Bayless. If you love Thai food, try books by Su-Mei-Yu. If Chinese is your thing, the Wei-Chuan School cookbooks are the best and most traditional if not difficult to understand at times. Just remember, cookbooks can be guides, not just rules. Let one recipe inspire you to try another, and look beyond the page.