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Where she belongs

Since I'm feeling particularly prickly today, I figured it was time to visit my favorite culinary waste-of-space: Rachel Ray.

One Sunday afternoon, I was watching the royal TV when this came on:



I screamed from the horror, and my husband came to make sure that I still had my limbs. When he realized the cause of my outcry, he shook his head, laughed, and walked out in a way that at once said "why did I marry this woman" and "OMG she called her dog food Nutrish?" Yes Honey, she named her Dog food Nutrish. Let that roll around in your head for a sec there. In the same way that she has ruined Olive Oil ("E.V.O.O!"), she has now Rachel Ray-afied "nutrition." Sigh.
That being said, the fact that she is donating money from the dog food to animal charities is very commendable and a lovely gesture -- I can't deny that. But deep down, I kind of get the feeling that she's trying to wiggle out of her contract with the devil by being charitable, and wouldn't anyone?

If the commercial weren't enough, I am now being attacked by RR at the grocery store... I'd like submit, people's evidence #2 into public record:












Oh you're not hallucinating. That IS Rachel Ray brand Chicken and Beef broth. Why? Why does Rachel Ray think her broth is so amazing that she must share it with the world? What could possibly be so special about it that I would ever ever ever purchase such tom foolery? There had better be Unicorn extract in that mess, or else its staying on that bottom shelf, on sale because no one, not even Donald Trump would buy that stuff full price. By the way, speaking of "celebrity" broth on the bottom shelf, make sure you check out Wolfgang Puck's broth on shelf BELOW RR. What did Wolfgang ever do to deserve to be shelved below Rachel Ray? Ok, so he's weird, I admit that, but he's culinary icon! I have to sigh again. Sigh.

Tacos and Guac

Hi readers. Health and "issues" restored, it's time to cook!

I like to think that I make pretty kick-ass Guacamole. Everyone adds their own special thing to Guac, I think this combo work really well. Try it once with these ingredients (if you can find them all, if not I'll offer suggestions of course), and feel free fiddle with the amounts according to taste. If you don’t love it, then add whatever you like – there are no rules when it comes to Guacamole.

Guacamole

7 small ripe Haas Avocados (or 6 large)
1/2 finely chopped large White Onion
*I really suggest White Onion for this,
you need something strong and pungent
1 large Jalapeno, finely chopped
*See pics.
You need to remove the seeds and pith (the white stuff)
And use plastic gloves if you're worried about spreading the heat
2 Medium Tomatillos chopped
*See pics.
Tomatillos are like a firm lemony flavored tomato
They add great flavor and wonderful texture.
If you can't find them:
Chop two small very firm (they can be green) tomatoes
and add the juice of another half of a Lime
1 cup finely chopped Cilantro
1/2 cup chopped Grape or Cherry Tomatoes
*I like the added sweetness, you can use reg tomatoes too though
Juice of 3 Limes
1 Tsp of Kosher Salt
*I like using Kosher Salt
but if you're using regular or Sea Salt
start with a 1/2 Tsp and work your way up.
Kosher Salt is actually less salty than normal salts

Add everything together and mash up to your desired texture. I like my Guac pretty chunky, but feel free to whip it up if you like. If you like it spicier add more Jalapeno or even some Tabasco or hot sauce. Also, add more salt or Lime or Cilantro according to your taste. I like to let it sit in the fridge for about an hour to let all the flavors really meld together. One other note: DON'T make or serve or store Guac it in a metal bowl. The metal with interact with the avocados and lime juice and make the whole thing a truly horrible shade of brown, and change the taste too. Instead use plastic or ceramic.

Makes about 3 cups, or more depending on the size of the avocados.


Finished Guac









Tomatillo with paper-like skin










Tomatillo, peeled









Tomatillo, cut









Jalapeno, cut








Jalapeno, cleaned








Jalapeno, diced, wearing plastic gloves









Tacos

This really could not be easier. I buy pre-made soft tortillas (sorry I don't have time to grind my own meal and make them), quickly sauté some steak and onions, and that’s it. Of course you can use Chicken, Pork, Fish, Shrimp or anything else you’re little Taco-loving heart desires.

1/2 Yellow Onion, sliced
1 lb Skirt Steak, cut into strips
*or Sandwich Steaks, or London Broil or...
It can be any somewhat lean, thin cut of meat
1/2 Tsp of Garlic Salt
*probably closer to 3/4 but not a full Tsp
2 Tbs of Veg oil
6-8 Small Tortillas
*doesn't matter if they're flour or corn
Queso Fresca
*This is soft white cheese, sometimes called Queso Blanco.
It comes in blocks that look like Feta or crumbled.
It doesn’t matter what you get,
you can add a slice to each taco or crumbles to each taco.
If you can't find it, use another mild cheese like Jack.

"Toast" the tortillas over the burner (see pic), a couple of seconds each side until heated (they might scorch marks, that’s fine, they add great flavor). Put aside. Heat the oil until very hot. Add the meat and the onions and sprinkle with the Garlic Salt. Just let the mixture cook on High until the meat and the onions get color and the meat is cooked. Taste both the onion and meat and add more Garlic Salt if needed. Add some cheese to a tortilla, add some of the meat and onions, and fold (see pic). Enjoy!


finished Tacos









Tortilla on the burner

Apologies

Sorry readers,

Personal and family health were my focus the past weeks -- I'll be back in cooking action very shortly! Please keep checking in,

thanks,
Duchess

SICK AS AN UNDERCOOKED TURKEY

Sorry its been so long readers, but since Thanksgiving I've been sick with Strep and pretty much my brain is mush. I assume I'll be a little more lucid this weekend, and then I can tell you all about my disasterous, but oddly humerous and heart warming Thanksgiving.

-Duchess

Broccoli

Someone sent me this clip, and it was so cute, I had to share....

Broccoli Hamster

Mushroom Soup & Stuffing

Success!

I tested the Mushroom Soup and Stuffing for the Thanksgiving meal this past weekend and they were (almost 100%) amazing. Stuffing needs some bacon amount tweaking, and Mushroom Soup needs some salt and pepper tweaking. As soon as they are setlled, I'll post pics and recipes. Let me just say, that the Brioche was divine in the stuffing! And they said it couldnt be done - ye of little faith. Don't let people tell you that seemingly odd culinary ideas won't work!!

PS
For those of you who are Costco members: Last week they were selling 10 Vanilla Beans for just over $20. If you don't know... that's a beyond amazing deal. If you don't know what to do with vanilla beans, check in later today or tomorrow for my vanilla bean post.

Nonsense! Or: What Does a Librarian Know About Cooking Anyway?

I was reading the NY Times food section, and there was an article about Turkey brining by a Mr. Harold McGee (not a very culinary name is it? He sounds like the local librarian to me). More specifically, the article was about the enternal Thanksgiving question: to brine or not to brine? Personally I think this is a ridiculous question, of COURSE you should brine don't be silly. Ok, so it takes a few hours or overnight to do, and it looks kinda funny after you take it out of the brining solution (imagine that pale pimply kid from Junior High School), but it's sooo worth it for a tender, juicy, and plump turkey -- and we all know that there is nothing more disapointg than a dry turkey on Thanksgiving (except maybe canned cranberry sauce, thank you 1950's).

However, if you read the article, after the "pro" section, there is a "con" section. The main issue under con's... no pan drippings for gravy. This is ridiculous! My mother, the Grand Duchess and I, have been brining our turkey's for years, and for years there has been amazing gravy. We accomplish this but using an excellent recipe by Pam Anderson that I've linked here (if you have a larger Turkey, or would like her gravy recipe, click on the link below to find Pam Anderson's book list). The librarion goes on to say that he tried many different techniques and temperatures with no success. Really, an educated librarian such as Mr. McGee should be better equiped at doing his research, if he had he would have found out that he's an idiot. All fooling aside, try Anderson's recipe, you won't be disapointed and you'll have plenty of gravy, thank you very much Mr. McGee.

(By the way, Pam Anderson has a wonderful collection of books that I highly highly reccomend for anyone! Check them out here.)

Thanksgiving Menu, Thanks!

Thanks for all the votes, the menu is now (almost) set!






Turkey & Gravy
Mom's Cranberry Relish
Mushroom Soup
Stuffing (TBD after testing, I'll keep you "posted")
Roasted Acorn Squash Wedges with Brown Sugar
Wild Rice with Apriocts and Spiced Almonds
Roasted Carrots & Cauliflower with Brown butter and Hazelnuts
Salad with Poached Pears and Stilton
Mom's Pumpkin Flan
Cranberry Clafouti

Thanksgiving Menu??

For the first time I think ever, Thanksgiving will be a sit down affair for us. We usually have a big 'ol buffet style number for around 30 or so people with a massive turkey, massive amounts of stuffing, green beans and mashed sweet potatoes, but this year I get to explore, be a little more elegant, and test these culinary chops of mine. I'm trying something new, survey's... so please give me your opinion.

This is what I'm thinking:

Turkey:
This goes without saying obviously. I brine my turkey with salt and sugar and some spices overnight which keeps it moist and faboo.

Stuffing:
I've never made stuffing from scratch before, but I am this year. What I'd really like to do is make a stuffing from brioche (a soft somewhat sweet French bread), but I suspect that even if I let it get a bit stale or dry it out in the oven, it's going to be too soft of a bread for stuffing. If that's the case I'll use corn bread instead. As for what kind of stuffing, I have in my mind that Toasted Pine Nuts & Bacon (slab bacon so I can get some nice cubes) sounds wonderful. I would use sautéed onions and celery and maybe mushrooms. I'd use plenty of Thyme, butter and white wine too.

Wild Rice:
I'm pretty sure I'm making wild rice instead of potatoes. It's a little less expected, and the huge array of stuff I can put in the rice is fun. I was thinking of dried cranberries and pecans, which isn't terribly groundbreaking but it's still great. Of course, I could go a totally different route. I might go a little spicy and Moroccan... spiced almonds and dried apricots. What do you think?

poll by twiigs.com

Soup:
I've always wanted to start a Thanksgiving meal with soup. I'm torn though. I'd like to do either an acorn squash soup, or a Mushroom Soup. Before you decide, let me say this. If I make the acorn squash soup, then I wouldn't have acorn squash in the rest of the meal, and I would make this killer mushroom pate that would be served on toast points along with the salad. If however, I make the mushroom soup, I would make equally amazing acorn squash wedges with brown sugar and melted butter. I'm leaning toward mushroom soup, but what do you think?

poll by twiigs.com

Veggies:
I'm thinking of roasted carrots and cauliflower with brown butter and roasted chopped hazelnuts... that made me hungry actually. OOO I can't wait!

Salad:
Depending on soup decisions, this will either have the toast points with the mushroom pate, or sliced poached pears and stilton (an English cheese that’s very much like a Blue cheese)... oh man got hungry again!

Dessert:
Dessert will be my Mother's pumpkin flan - I know it sounds weird but its AMAZING, and a cranberry clafoutti (that is fruit sautéed in liquor, and then baked in a batter, so good, so easy).

Phew, well thanks for the input, and there will be recipes as soon as decisions have been made, and then of course pics of the food!

Lazy Eating

Ellen Degeneres once did a brilliant little sketch about how lazy this country has gotten. Indeed, lazy enough to have developed gogurt and breath strips (check it out here at the 3:56 mark).

I have another addition for her: the soy sauce dispensing chopstick. Ya, it's EXACTLY what you think it is. I dunno how I feel about this. On the one hand it's damn clever, and leave it to the Japanese to make something else "cute". On the other hand -- is this really necessary? It's all a little too Jetson's for me -- we're steps away from food in pill form. Now, if someone found a way for me to eat fish without getting a bone stuck in my throat, that would be progress!